Saga of Toop, Bravest of Xvarts
by Late to the Party
Summary: A tale of Toop the Brave. AU.
1. The Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the names, characters, setting contained within. Bioware/Black Isle/Interplay does.

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><p>The Plan<p>

The most fearsome of warriors, and certainly the bluest, Toop stood taller and prouder than any other in his village. Even Ursa was forced to acknowledge his might... after the cave bear backhanded him and threatened to tear out his throat.

Today Toop had made a decision. It was a decision that would irrevocably change his life. He decided on a mission: a mission to strike back. He would kill a cow. With the cow's murder, he would send a message. A message that his people, the Xvart, would no longer tolerate being oppressed, or scorned by the taller, uglier races. Even the kobolds laughed at them. Well, that would all change. For generations, his people _captured_ cows, and made off with them, only to find they could not get the cow to move. The obstinate bovines simply stop and refuse to go further. Then the raiders would be chased off, and tales of their failure would grow. The shame his people suffered was unbearable. He would free them from that.

The voice in his dreams told him so. He would embrace his potential, and with it, his destiny. Toop the Cow-Slayer!

And so, his decision made, Toop's journey began. First he needed allies. No, he needed a sword. Unfortunately, all the iron they had was diseased. That didn't make any sense, but it started when they brought back a captured sword from a dead pinkskin. It had poisoned all the other swords like a fever. Now all their iron rotted, even the ancestral sword the shaman wore. Nothing could stop the rot. Well, he had a way around that too. In the meantime, he would use a spear, hardened in the campfire.

Allies were a hindrance, but the only way the village would believe him is if there were enough witnesses to see it. Next he needed Ursa's blessing. He would promise her a share of the meat. Finally, he needed the shaman's potions. With it, he would have the strength of a hobgoblin, the speed of an elf, and the power to vanquish any halfling that came his way. And he knew just which cow to target. Chloe.

Chloe was a cow that had defied his village for years. She was a stubborn old thing, and her mooing drove most blueskin raiders away. She even hoofed clods of dirt at them!

Toop however, had a plan. When she began her legendary charge, (almost as infamous as her other attack; at least one xvart had drowned after sighting an opportunity to strike her exposed flank…), he would dive out the way. She would keep going and he would chase after her, and then she would stop, moo horribly, and munch grass for a while. But he would use a stone dagger. He would jab her and make her chase him, and when she was finally away from those filthy pinkskins and their horrid fur hind-heads, he would strike. Those stupid kobolds used their cowardly bows, hiding and only coming out when they thought it was safe. Well, Toop wasn't so stupid. He had befriended Merlinious, a kobold who wasn't taken seriously in her tribe either, and together, they would lure Chloe to her death.

The trouble was, Chloe might not follow him. She might kick him instead. A kick from Chloe meant death. Worse was her kisses. Her breath made better warriors than he faint. Then she lay down on them! He had heard many tales of brave xvarts smothered, a free limb flailing wildly until finally it twitched no more… all the while, the callous cow chewed grass. She had to die. It was a matter of honour.


	2. The Journey

The Journey

Merlinious was sneakier than most kobolds, Toop was forced to concede, and that certainly made her more dangerous, but she was also weaker. That didn't bother Toop so much as the friend Merlinious brought along: Tibbit, a goblin. Toop didn't like Tibbet. For one thing, Tibbet was too green. But not green like the grass, green like withered grass, a sort of yellowy green. Mostly, Toop didn't like Tibbet because Tibbet was always showing off, and trying to impress Merlinious. Tibbet could barely swing the hammer he carried – a big stone on a bowed stick, but Merlinious seemed to like him. Toop wasn't sure why, but that didn't matter, because Tibbet would help by hitting Chloe between the eyes.

Then when she mooed and fell over, he, Toop, would rush in and stick her. He was certain the sword would reach her heart. No matter what, Chloe had to die and he had to be the one to kill her. Best of all, Merlinious and Tibbet would hide, so no one else knew they were there. Everyone would be watching him, and not Tibbet. Merlinious said she was going to paint 'Tibby' blue so even if someone _did_ see him, they'd think he was a Xvart, at least from a distance. Merlinious was so smart, Toop sighed. Why couldn't _he_ be this smart? She thought The Plan was silly, and they should just pepper Chloe with arrows until she got mad enough to rush towards them and fall down a ditch. But that would defeat the purpose of _him_ killing her. If he, Toop, didn't stab Chloe, then the village's honour would remain in tatters, and he'd get none of the glory. Merlinious said something he didn't understand, in her hissing scalekin tongue, but he suspected it was rude. He couldn't prove anything and because she was his friend, he couldn't take offence.

He had practiced his war cries all afternoon. He would surely scare Chloe where other Xvarts had failed. Now he had to gather up the others, and they would go hunting.

Dawn found them at the edge of the great stone river the pinkskins used. It didn't flow like water, but wooden open huts were pulled down it by oxen, an even more terrifying breed of cow than Chloe. There were six of them. Merlinious and Tibbet had gone on ahead, and would meet him at the ditch. The ditch was a ridge that determined the boundary between the forest and the pinkskin's farm. Crossing the stone river was dangerous; hobgoblins and the smelliest of the pinkskins lurked in the trees and tried to drag the moving huts out of the river. They contained food, and fruit and grain juices. Sometimes they carried iron, but not lately. Now a sword was rarer than cow.

What Toop hadn't told anyone was how it was _Merlinious_ who got him a sword. He didn't know where she'd got it from, or how, but he didn't like to ask. It proved that she was his friend. She promised, unlike the other swords, it wouldn't rot, and it hadn't! He hadn't believed it, but after four days, it was still fresh. He was so impressed that he actually kept his promise to hide it and show no one. Now he wore it proudly in his belt. He had dubbed it 'Chloeslayer' at first, but then he thought it would be nice to call it something else. He hadn't actually _killed_ Chloe yet, and until he did the sword hadn't earned the name, no matter how much he treasured it. It was very plain around the hilt and grip, but he didn't mind. This was the sword that would change everything forever.

By midafternoon, they had crossed the stone river, snuck through the woods and reached the farm. The grazing grounds of Chloe were vast and green, with only a couple of trees to provide cover. A wall of stacked stones ran along two sides, marking where the trees ended and the grazing grounds began. The other side had a ditch, and the last was where the stone hut was. Inside the hut was the nasty pinkskin who came out and touched Chloe's udders each morning. Why would anyone touch a cow, Toop wanted to know, but even _Merlinious_ didn't have an answer. The shaman didn't either, but told him if he asked another question, he would feed Ursa. Toop certainly didn't want to feed Ursa; the she-bear might protect the village in exchange for tribute, but she wasn't above eating a blueskin.

The sun was half way between noon and reddening when he saw her, his foe. Chloe stood there munching grass without a care in the world, as if she had never crushed a xvart before in her life. Toop's blood began to boil. Abandoning the plan, he screamed his war-cry and the other xvarts joined him. _"AIIIIIIIII!"_

Chloe wasn't impressed. She watched the charging xvarts, then mooed loudly. It stopped several in their tracks, but not Toop. Little dagger held high, he slashed wildly as he neared her. He had forgotten Merlinious was watching. Then his blade came into contact with the cow. Chloe mooed in pain, and swung her head in a great arc. Toop barely dodged, having to throw himself sideways. Then Chloe took a step forwards; she was so close, half a xvart away from him! Frantically, he rolled, but her steps were longer than his rolling. He felt the moist warmth, smelt the horrible grass, and knew he was about to die.

The warriors from his village had fled. As soon as Chloe had advanced, they turned and ran. Merlinious' arrow saved his life. Striking Chloe firmly in the rump, the cow howled, and looked around, then amazingly began to charge towards the stone hut.

"Quick," Merlinious hissed, "Let's get out of here!"

Still shaken, Toop nodded and hastily got to his feet. He was too ashamed to even look at her, much less Tibbet. He was sure the goblin was laughing at him.


	3. The Hollow

The Hollow

It was almost reddening by the time they neared the stone river. It was far too dangerous to try to get back to the village now; wolves roamed the crags near the hills the village nestled in. Usually, the wolves helped keep the pinkskins away, but since the iron-rot, the wolves had grown hungry and now prowled searching for anything to eat.

Merlinious made the decision they would sleep in the trees tonight. Toop wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to show that, and after what happened with Chloe, he couldn't argue. Merlinious was right. If he wasn't so stupid, he'd have sworn Tibbet looked especially smug. Besides, it was a chance to spend more time with Merlinious. Not that he'd ever admit it.

They didn't build a fire, in case it drew the dirty pinkskins near, but instead they found a large tree hollow that fitted all three of them, and walled up the entrance with pointy sticks and covered it with leafy branches. Then they snuggled up to sleep, Merlinious in the middle. Toop was determined to stay awake and prove that he wasn't scared, but one look from the kobold warned him he was being 'silly'. Toop hated being thought of as silly. He wasn't afraid to run a wolf down, staring it in the eye, and he certainly wasn't afraid to fight a disgusting halfling, not that he'd ever met any. Ursa scared him, but Ursa scared _everyone_. Even Tibbet would be scared of Ursa, if he wasn't so stupid. Toop shivered and tried not to think of how Ursa swiped him when he went into her den. He was younger then. Ursa hadn't even growled; usually she growled if you annoyed her. If you got on her wrong side… Toop didn't like to think about that, but his fingers involuntarily found the scar down the side of his head. A proper swipe would break the skull and spine of a xvart, so it was remarkable Ursa had let him off with only a gentle scratch.

When he had shown Merlinious the scratch, she looked at him as if he were crazy. She didn't understand why Ursa was so important; he asked if she had a guardian to her tribe and she sniffed at him, like a snake testing the air, and told him of course she did. But she wouldn't say more. It made Toop wonder who this guardian was.

Tibbet slept soundly, Toop observed bitterly, staring at the still-blue goblin. It wasn't fair that Tibbet should be so stupid and still so strong. That wasn't the real reason, but he wouldn't admit his jealousy even to himself. Merlinious prodded him with her clawed foot; she didn't need to speak for him to understand. Unwillingly, he closed his eyes.

The next morning, he found Merlinious and Tibbet gone.


	4. AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

AIIIII

Angrily, Toop kicked the branches covering the hollow. He didn't understand it; where could they have gone? When? It wasn't fair. He felt betrayed. When he had kicked his way through the branches, the xvart looked for tracks and found none. For more than twenty minutes, he tried to work out what had happened, and finally, he glumly concluded that they had found another hollow.

Dejectedly, he started heading towards the stone river. Because he wasn't looking, he didn't see the pinkskins, didn't smell them until it was too late. Too busy looking at the cracks between the stones and dragging his boots, he never felt the arrow until it pierced him. Realising he was under attack and had no way of outrunning his foes, Toop did the only thing he could: drawing Chloeslayer, he charged madly towards the pinkskins screaming his war-cry.

…He got as far as half way before another arrow zipped past him, and a third glanced off his shoulder. There were six of them, two of them horrid elf-men. One was a cow, the other a bull, and the bull carried a shield and a sword. The arrows stopped as he stepped towards Toop; gathering his breath, Toop made his last charge. He stabbed up, hard. The point stuck in the iron rings of his enemy's tunic; then the elf-man's sword swung towards his throat. Toop glared hatefully as it fell, remembering the scar Ursa gave him, the warning about not charging into unknowns dens.

As he broke into golden dust, his last thought was how he'd failed to kill Chloe.

"What'd you do _that_ for?" The pink haired girl demanded.

"It's a xvart. Where's there's one, there's more." Calmly, the bow was shouldered.

She glared at her brother, then frowned, "Where'd he go?" She bent down to pick up the sword.

"L-leave it. W-we still have a way to g-go before we reach Nashkel."

—

Two hours later, Merlinious and Tibbet found Chloeslayer. In one hand, she carried a chicken, who used to gibber in mantalk, and in the other her bow. Tibbet carried the berries they would have had for breakfast.


	5. Happily Ever After

_One Year Later…_

Toop screamed his war-cry again. This time he was surrounded by xvarts, and Ursa led them into battle. His killer wasn't there, but the pink haired girl was. Hate-filled, he charged; flames filled his vision and he felt himself break apart, everything turning golden. Just before it all went black, he caught a glimpse of Merlinious and Tibbet, and a broad half orc. As he vanished into the ether, his last thought he happy he was to see her again.

Stepping out of the chamber, Imoen glanced over at the Solar, and remarked, "Eww… I _really_ don't wanna think about it."


End file.
